In the last - and very lengthy
contest entry for tonight,
AutumnNatural demonstrates to us that there's more than one type of winning lottery ticket. Between this one and that half-billion jackpot last year (anyone other than me buy a couple tickets just for the hell of it?) - it'd be a tough choice ;p
Title: "The Winning Ticket"
This is an awesome sequence and an awesome concept for a transformation.
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteVery nicely done. I enjoyed the details like the earrings growing from within the ear and the shoes seeming to grow from 'her' own flesh. Your rendering is very tight and your panel work has some good rhythm.
ReplyDeleteThat said, there are two things that I think would make this great piece even stronger.
The first is to use more standardized page sizes with borders. Your great comic-style penciling deserves to have standard pagination to make the flow of the panels more apparent. Borders work to hold the story and give everything within them a specificity that would do your draftsmanship justice.
Secondly, on a story note, I think this needs one more page before page one or a differently laid out page one. The change in demeanor from anguished transformee to happy bimbo is wonderful. A good bookend to the TF would be to show the transformee's elation at winning before the start of the TF.
Great work!
Thanks!
DeleteAnd I agree completely. The longer I'm away from this the more I can see things that I want to do differently and definitely a standard page size and boarders are necessary. I had this idea to try to do a simple sequence and comic hybrid. I built the concept in my head, but when it made it to paper I don't think it was as effective as I'd hoped. Maybe I'll go back in and ink the pages and make some changes.
In regards to the pre-page 1 you mentioned. I went with just jumping into the pre-transformation change and the reader could fill in the blanks a head of time. Though I wasn't sure how effective it would be. I guess the jury is still out. :)