Meg: "Hey Everyone! Welcome to the first night of this year's La De Baucherie Magique Fashion Pageant!"
Mac: "We're really sorry we couldn't make it to the initial introductions...the best laid plans of mice and men and all that."
Meg: "Funny story there...we were visiting our friends Hank and Gany. Right when we were getting ready to head out, Hank got stuck in the doorway...can you believe it? I believe she's currently undergoing something described as an 'udder reduction procedure.'"
Mac: "She's being milked Meg."
Meg: "Call it what you will....there were gallons of white liquid splashing everywhere! Coulda sworn I was on board the 'Nostromo'!"
Mac: "Anyhooooo, mooooving on....looks like things are starting. I see Candy walking down the red carpet now. She appears to be wearing a Vietnamese Ao Dai - that can only mean that tonight we're seeing the 'traditional/cultural outfit' competition."
Meg: "Well duh. Didn't you read the script? Why do you think we've got these keen hats? I'm like 'Reach for the sky pilgrim!'.....and you're like, 'Elementary my dear Megamilipod.' And why we've got Gany decked out in that get-up."
Mac: "That's right - everybody, take a good look at Gany! She'll be acting as our roving reporter for the next several nights."
Gany: "Frankly, this is a pretty embarrassing - I've told you both a thousand times - Gany is short for 'Ganymede'."
Meg: "Don't sweat it, you look gorgeous - doesn't she Mac?"
Gany: "I feel ridiculous. I can't even see my feet."
Mac: "Calm down - she's right...you're smokin! And speaking of which, here comes our first contestant."
Meg: "Now this is a bit of a surprise, it appears as though Bob...excuse me...Srijaya is wearing an outfit from her adopted home of Bali."
Mac: "But we certainly weren't expecting her to go quite as far with the native-gal look this early in the show. How can we expect this daring move to go over with the judges?"
Meg: "Only time will tell Mac, but let's be honest, she's got a lot to show where it counts - this could get her some big points...even with all the other entrants following her."
Mac: "And here comes the next contestant....I've always wondered what Tinker-Bell would look like as a medieval barmaid - Ms. Calahan does not disappoint."
Meg: "You're not the only one...and I certainly wouldn't have expected her to look so graceful either. Those aerial maneuvers should definitely earn her some points."
Mac: "Next we have....let's see - Satine Ryder - a running favorite from the transformation contest. Going with an old dependable look, the Victorian gentlewoman."
Meg: "Definitely a good choice for a centaur. The outfit complements her figure very nicely - taking it slow and steady like a real lady."
Mac: "Ok, here comes Annie...I can almost feel the ground shake when she walks."
Meg: "I think that's your stomach rumbling. That eighties fitness look definitely works for a body like that. I could go a few rounds with that."
Mac: "Now we should be seeing Allisen slithering down the aisle....or flying....but more likely slithering."
Meg: "I don't see anyone at all. Gany...is there something going on?"
Gany: "I'm afraid that Allisen was disqualified from the competition. Apparently she wasn't able to change into her outfit in a reasonable amount of time....also there was something about a missing makeup artist..."
Meg: "A hungry snake-woman....that's a shocker. Hey Doug! Call animal control!"
Mac: "Technically a Quetzalcoatl-woman...but no need to split hairs."
Meg: "Yep, that's what Rosemary is here to do. I mean, just look at that mane."
Mac: "Also a running favorite, New Wave definitely works for her. I wonder if she takes requests?"
Meg: "OK, here comes Jezebel Allen - I must say, the traditional 50's look is a very interesting dichotomy with her devilish appearance."
Mac: "She pulls it off very well though. She appears strangely innocent."
Meg: "Right you are Mac. And who do we have next?"
Mac: "This is Jennifer Jackson. And she appears to be almost three years late."
Meg: "Three years late? What are you talking about?"
Mac: "According to the Chinese Zodiac, 2011 was the Year of the Rabbit."
Meg: "Late or not, she's carrying it off very well."
Mac: "And here is Max McNathair - although I think she goes by Maxine now...or is that Maxthene? She does have a bit of a lisp."
Meg: "A thexthy lithp. Heh heh heh. I like the Rapunzel look as well. A dragon needs her princess....or maybe in this case to be her princess."
Mac: "And here is Elsie. I like her delicate attempts to avoid tripping on the hem of her dress."
Meg: "Even as she dribbles milk all down the runway. Cleanup in aisle 6!"
Mac: "Next is the beautiful Agne Balthis or Theta...man a lot of these gals have been changing their names...we've got to keep the paperwork updated here."
Meg: "Yeah, yeah, add that to the list. Meanwhile, this gal is all set for the sock hop - this is turning out to be a popular period."
Mac: "And now, we're at about the halfway mark. Time for a commercial break."