0pik-0ort - Baker's Dozen 6

"What did I tell you - the right ingredients and a little patience - and these sweeties will turn out perfectly.  I mean, would you just take a look at these - can you zoom in a little more?  Absolutely divine.  What's more, we've got enough for everyone in the audience to try one - believe me you don't want to miss out on one of these babies!"

"What?  Where'd they all go?"

"Well that cleared the studio faster than usual...I thought we'd have at least one fetishist left behind...ya know the ones you gotta get security to haul out....never can tell with some types.  Their loss....these things are great."

"And that's a wrap....who's up for lunch?  Chinese today?"

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0pik-0ort - Baker's Dozen 5

Lot of thunderstorms around here the last few days.

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"Like I was saying folks, these treats are nearly done.  And if you look closely, you can see them rising very nicely.  I know some people just talk about mixing things together and having it all come together.  Honestly, that might work for a few people - and every now and then you might get lucky - but let's face it - it really helps to measure out everything just right - these recipes are tried and true for a reason."

"That's the same reason I always use real sugar in my recipes - on the show and in my books.  There's just no substitute for the real thing.  Sure I prefer a little sweetener in my coffee - but when it comes to baking, real food, whathaveyou - it's about quality over quantity - even if it does add a few calories to the final product."

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0pik-0ort - Baker's Dozen 4

"Mmmm - this tastes amazing - but they're not quite done yet.  Looks like just a few more minutes before our first batch of goodies will be ready to take out.  Like I was just saying - a few snacks here and there are fine, but you've got to watch your intake if you want to keep a figure like mine."

"That's not to say that you're limited to making just a few of each item - half the fun of baking a lot of sweet treats is being able to share them with other folks - friends, coworkers, family members and so forth."

"Well, there go her pants.  At least we don't have to blur the image this time around."

 Art by 0pik-0ort! 

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0pik-0ort - Baker's Dozen 3

"And we're back from our sponsored messages.  If you're just joining us now, this is our special spring baking episode - where I'm sharing some of my favorite baked goods and pastry treats.  Now obviously it's easy to get carried away when cooking these sorts of sweets.  A little licking the mixers here, a little leftover batter on this spoon and it's all - a second on the lips, a lifetime on the hips."

"At least that's what my mom always said - bless her heart - but it's certainly possible to whip up some amazing goodies and still keep your figure.  It just takes a bit more effort - a little extra time on the treadmill...but more than worth it if you ask me."

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0pik-0ort - Baker's Dozen 2

"People are always asking me - 'Trina - I don't understand how you stay so thin - especially eating the way you do on your show - what's your trick?' - and I always respond, 'I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.'  Just kidding, seriously...there's not really any secret.  I've been blessed with a great metabolism.  I mean....there might be a few other tricks up my sleeve - but who am I kidding - who'd want to cover up these arms?"

"Ok, now these muffins have been sitting and rising long enough - time to get them in the oven.  And we'll be back after these messages from our sponsors here at TR-I TV."

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0pik-0ort - Baker's Dozen 1

"And we're on in five, four, three, two......"

"Hi there everyone, and welcome to 'Cooking with Trina' - today's premiere cooking show.  I'm your hostess Trina and today we're all in for a real treat.  That's right, today is our spring baking special!  I don't know about you folks out there, but I couldn't be more excited...I mean sure we all love Christmas cookies and cakes and other snacks....but there's so much variety out there and today we'll be demonstrating a few of my favorite recipes."

"As always, 'Cooking with Trina' is sponsored by TransRepo Industries here on TR-I TV and to assist us in today's presentation, we have a new type of quick-rising flour developed by the eggheads upstairs.  I don't know about you, but I've been seeing some rave reviews about this stuff, and I'm really looking forward to testing it out today!"

"Should she be tasting the batter already?  They said this stuff was really fast-acting."

"Relax...I made sure they watered it down properly this time.  This episode will be perfect.  Trust me."

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0pik-0ort - Cooking With Trina 5

"And here we have our *buc buc* roasted turkey.....all done cooking in *bawk* three minutes!  And look how big and swollen and juicy it is!  *buckaw*!"

0pik-0ort - Cooking With Trina 4

"Oh my goodness!....I think I'm going to be sick!  Oooof!"

"Bleaacchaaaa.....aaaawk?!?"

0pik-0ort - Cooking With Trina 3

"It looks like our turkey is already plumping after just a few minutes inside the Roastmaster 3000.  This model should be in stores in time for your Christmas festivities next month.  In the meantime.....wow....it's really getting warm in here."

"I'd almost think I was getting hot flashes, but I'm not that old yet - am I right ladies?  Hey, no comments from the staff Jake!"

"Honestly, I might be coming down with something, maybe I just need some more water - but I'll be good through the rest of the show."

0pik-0ort - Cooking With Trina 2

"And we're back from our short commercial break - as always, our top sponsor here at "Cooking with Trina" is our network TR-I TV - and their parent company TransRepo Industries."

"Would you believe it...I completely forgot to start the oven before our little break.  As I said before, this is a slightly smaller turkey than we would normally use, so we won't need more than 30 minutes or so in the oven...particularly since we're fortunate to be able to demonstrate a brand new RoastMaster 3000 courtesy of TransRepo Industries.  With this baby, we're able to cook a lot more in a fraction of the time it would normally take."

"Excuse me while I take another drink of water - I must say - I'm feeling positively parched.  I think that basting sauce was a little saltier than I expected - and it certainly feels a little drier in here than normal...still, it's always best to stay well hydrated while in a hot kitchen."

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0pik-0ort - Cooking With Trina 1

"Hi and welcome to this week's special episode of "Cooking with Trina" here on TR-I TV.  I'm your host Trina Kowalski and this is our annual Thanksgiving holiday prep episode."

"We've got a number of special dishes to demonstrate this hour, but we'll begin with everyone's favorite - the roast turkey - not least because it takes the longest to prepare.  For a special treat this year, we're demonstrating a new product by our sponsor TransRepo Industries.  As you can see, our sample turkey is considerably smaller than I would normally consider appropriate for serving a gathering of 8 to 10 adults, but as part of our special, we have a new basting recipe to sample.  Not only is this mixture expected to enhance the flavor significantly, but I've been informed that it should actually have some moisturizing qualities that may actually cause the turkey to swell a little during the cooking process."

"I should emphasize at this point that our new recipe will not be available in time for the holiday season this year, but is expected to be on store shelves by this time next year.  In the meantime, those of you at home can follow along as our cooking procedures should have no other differences in cook time or temperature for a similarly sized bird."

"And there, as you can see, I've applied a generous basting over the entire turkey in the pan - the leftover juices will collect in the bottom of the pan where they can be absorbed during the cooking process.  Hmmm, that is a nice flavor - maybe a little saltier than I would normally use, but given the amount of liquid and the generally bland nature of turkey meat, I think it will have the desired effect."

"We'll just set the timer and begin on the mashed potatoes."

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